Choose To Live Your Life With Happiness and Don't Regret Your Decisions

There's so many things about life that I don't understand, and I will never have the answers to everything I want to know.  None of us will.  That is part of the challenges we face in life, trying to figure out the answers to all those questions we have.  At least if we can accept that we don't need to have all the answers, we can live our lives with a higher level of happiness. 

“It is better to live your own destiny imperfectly than to live an imitation of somebody else's life with perfection.” ― Anonymous, The Bhagavad Gita

We've all heard that expression...Life is short.  Sadly for some, life is shorter than it is for others.  So why not live the best life we can while we are still here?  Why not choose to be happy?  I know it's hard sometimes, but try to make choices that bring you happiness.  We all want to live the best life we can, to be happy and do what is right for us, and for those we love.  Do you ever hear anyone say otherwise?   Nobody wants to cause misery to another person.   At least, no decent person does.  And nobody wants to live an unhappy life.  Go for what you want that makes you happy!

“There will be a few times in your life when all your instincts will tell you to do something, something that defies logic, upsets your plans, and may seem crazy to others. When that happens, you do it. Listen to your instincts and ignore everything else. Ignore logic, ignore the odds, ignore the complications, and just go for it.”
― Judith McNaught, Remember When

I know people make decisions that adversely affect their lives, both consciously and unconsiously.  We all make mistakes because we are not perfect.  We can look back on our lives and see where we went wrong, and where we may have been able to change the course of our lives, had we made different decisions.  But that is life...we choose, we grow, we fail, we achieve, we loose, we regret, we learn.  We are constantly faced with decisions, and we don't know the outcome of those decisions until after the fact, sometimes minutes, sometimes days, weeks, months, or even years later.  We live and learn, and we will never stop learning and growing as long as we are living. 

“That’s the thing about a human life-there’s no control group, no way to ever know how any of us would have turned out if any variables had been changed.”
― Elizabeth Gilbert, Eat, Pray, Love: One Woman's Search for Everything Across Italy, India and Indonesia

The important thing is to accept that we are going to make mistakes.  We are not always going to make the best decisions on everything we ever encounter in our lives.  Sometimes we have to look back to realize if our choices were wrong or right.  Sometimes our decisions are not as simple as right or wrong, they are simply a choice.  It's no different for anyone, no matter who you are.

“As long as the world is turning and spinning, we're gonna be dizzy and we're gonna make mistakes.”
― Mel Brooks

In light of that, articles like this can help us to at least think a little harder about what it is that is most important in life, before it is too late.  http://www.inspirationandchai.com/Regrets-of-the-Dying.html
I think I've made a conscious effort to do that, but I guess I won't really know until it is the end of the road for me.

Have You Ever Been Touched By a Homeless Person?

I went to Walmart the other day, looking for toys for my grandchildren for Christmas.  I walked out of the store empty-handed.  I couldn’t find what I was looking for, and I was upset with myself for wasting my time going there.  I don't like this particular Walmart (even though I love Walmart stores in general), and I normally avoid it at all costs.  When I left the store, my daughter called out to me from the parking lot.  She had just gotten there to pick up a few things after work.  I was surprised to see her there and I walked over to her car where we talked for a few minutes.  Then I went back to my car and drove off. 

As I was leaving the parking lot I noticed a homeless woman walking along the edge of the lot, pushing a grocery cart filled about half way up with her belongings.  She was dirty. and everything in her cart was dirty.  She had on pants and a coat and a hood over her head, even though the temperature was in the 70’s.  I could see her eyes and they looked so sad. I don’t believe she made eye contact with me.  It was as if she was in her own little world, a desolate world, where nobody paid any attention to her, or her to them. 

My heart went out to this woman.  There was something about her that touched me.  My heart sank, and I knew I had to do something.  I couldn't just drive off and ignore her.  She looked like she was around my mom’s age.  But I could've been totally wrong.  She may have only been my age, but her hard life aged her.  I watched her walk in my rear view mirror and she walked so wobbly and weak.  Her knees were turning inward.  I turned my car around and drove up a little bit and parked so I could observe her, wanting so bad to help her.  She reached down and picked up something and then picked up something else.  I don’t know if it was a can or what it was.  Then she sat down on the curb and put her head in her lap.  That did it for me.  Seeing her do that brought tears to my eyes...it just broke my heart. 

I reached into my purse and pulled out three dollars, and I slowly drove up to her, thinking about what I was going to say.  I rolled the passenger window down and I called out to her and said, “Ma am, do you need any help?”  She stood up and approached my car and I could see her face well, with dirt between the wrinkles of her weathered skin.  I once again saw those sad looking eyes.  She said, “Where are we going?”  It looked like she was going to open my car door.  I said, "We aren’t going anywhere, I was just wondering if you needed anything.”  She said, “Do you know where the races are?  Are we going to the races?”  I knew she had some mental issues when she went on to say, “Is this a race car?  Are you a race car driver?”  I said no.  I asked her again if she needed any help and she backed away and started to sit on the curb again, almost like she was defeated in that I wasn't going to take her to the races, and then she said, “I could use a dollar.”  I said here, and I held out the 3 dollars, as she stood up and approached my car and reached her right hand in to take the money. 

I could swear it looked like she wanted to touch my hand.  I noticed her old, wrinkled hand was filthy, with dirt between her long fingernails.  I almost thought she was going to grab my hand.  I don’t know why, but I got scared for a split second.  She took the money and slowly sat down again.  I don’t think she thanked me, but I could tell by the look in her eyes that she was very grateful.  I said, “God bless you!” 

As I drove off, I prayed for this woman while choking back tears.  There was something about her.  I realized that there was a reason I went to Walmart after all, and she was the reason why.  I didn't do much at all for this poor woman, but she did something to me.  She has been on my mind ever since.  I see that image of her head in her lap, and her long skinny fingers reaching for the money, I just can't shake it.  After I drove down the street I almost turned back around because I forgot to ask her name.  It didn’t really matter I guess, but I wanted to know her name.  I bet it’s been awhile since anyone has asked her that. 

Today I drove through the Walmart parking lot looking for her. She wasn't there.  I drove through the lot next to it and down another street nearby, and still no homeless woman.  I'm sure she pretty much sticks to that area since she didn't look like she could walk very far.  I talked to my daughter today and she said she saw the woman that day that she saw me.  She said she saw me drive past her, but she didn't know I turned around to approach her.  She said she's seen her several times in that area because her kids go to daycare just down the street.  I told her to text me the next time she sees her.  I will go to her again, and maybe I can do something more for her.  I looked up some agencies and phone numbers for outreach programs for the homeless and I will try to get someone to come talk to her about their services.  I do know from working at a homeless agency in the past that sometimes people who live on the streets don’t want to participate in the services that are available.  They don't want any help.  But maybe this woman will welcome the help. Just maybe she can be saved from the streets and given shelter, food and medical attention.  I hope so, she is a human being and she deserves to be loved and cared for.

It All Started in Eighth Grade

I can't believe I am 55 years old! The past 43 years have flown by, just like my 8th grade social studies teacher told us would happen on our first day back to school after summer break.  He asked us if we thought summer vacation went by fast.  Pretty much everyone nodded their heads in agreement.  He then went on to tell us something that would stick with me for the rest of my life.  He said that the next two years of junior high school are going to go by very quickly, and we will suddenly find ourselves a half foot taller and sitting in a high school classroom.  Then before we know it, we will be walking across the stage at graduation, wondering where the years went.  When he said those words, I remember feeling kind of sad.  I thought, well, this is just HIS opinion.  I vowed that I will be different...I won't let that happen to me, I will make time go by slowly.  I didn't want to grow up and graduate already.  I was still just a kid!  My social studies teacher was a middle aged man, obviously a smart man in my eyes, and he had experience in this matter because of his age.  He went on to say that as we get older, life will seem to go by even faster with each passing year.  Boy, was he right.  I walked out of the classroom that day with the intention of proving him wrong.  Unfortunately, before I knew it, I was standing on stage at graduation waiting for my name to be called, and I realized my social studies teacher was right on.  And here I am now, just a few short years later, and I'm already 55.

First year of high school.

The Four Agreements by Don Miguel Ruiz

Last year someone told me about this book, which describes the codes for life, according to Don Miguel Ruiz.   He describes these simple agreements for people seeking happiness, peace, freedom and love.  It's a good reminder for all of us who want to be the best person we can be to others and to ourselves, and live the best life we can. ~

Be Impeccable with Your Word

Speak with integrity. Say only what you mean. Avoid using the word to speak against yourself or to gossip about others. Use the power of your word in the direction of truth and love.

Impeccable means “without sin” and a sin is something you do or believe that goes against yourself. It means not speaking against yourself, to yourself or to others. It means not rejecting yourself. To be impeccable means to take responsibility for yourself, to not participate in “the blame game.”

Regarding the word, the rules of “action-reaction” apply. What you put out energetically will return to you. Proper use of the word creates proper use of energy, putting out love and gratitude perpetuates the same in the universe. The converse is also true.

Impeccability starts at home. Be impeccable with yourself and that will reflect in your life and your relationships with others. This agreement can help change thousands of other agreements, especially ones that create fear instead of love.

Don't Take Anything Personally

Nothing others do is because of you. What others say and do is a projection of their own dream. When you are immune to the opinions and actions of others, you won't be the victim of needless suffering.

We take things personally when we agree with what others have said. If we didn't agree, the things that others say would not affect us emotionally. If we did not care about what others think about us, their words or behavior could not affect us.

Even if someone yells at you, gossips about you, harms you or yours, it still is not about you! Their actions and words are based on what they believe in their personal dream.

Our personal “Book of Law” and belief system makes us feel safe. When people have beliefs that are different from our own, we get scared, defend ourselves, and impose our point of view on others. If someone gets angry with us it is because our belief system is challenging their belief system and they get scared. They need to defend their point of view. Why become angry, create conflict, and expend energy arguing when you are aware of this?

Don't Make Assumptions

Find the courage to ask questions and to express what you really want. Communicate with others as clearly as you can to avoid misunderstandings, sadness, and drama. With just this one agreement, you can completely transform your life.

When we make assumptions it is because we believe we know what others are thinking and feeling. We believe we know their point of view, their dream. We forget that our beliefs are just our point of view based on our belief system and personal experiences and have nothing to do with what others think and feel.

We make the assumption that everybody judges us, abuses us, victimizes us, and blames us the way we do ourselves. As a result we reject ourselves before others have the chance to reject us. When we think this way, it becomes difficult to be ourselves in the world.

Take action and be clear to others about what you want or do not want; do not gossip and make assumptions about things others tell you. Respect other points of view and avoid arguing just to be right. Respect yourself and be honest with yourself. Stop expecting the people around you to know what is in your head.

Always Do Your Best

Your best is going to change from moment to moment; it will be different when you are healthy as opposed to sick. Under any circumstance, simply do your best, and you will avoid self-judgment, self-abuse, and regret.

Doing your best means enjoying the action without expecting a reward. The pleasure comes from doing what you like in life and having fun, not from how much you get paid. Enjoy the path traveled and the destination will take care of itself.

Living in the moment and releasing the past helps us to do the best we can in the moment. It allows us to be fully alive right now, enjoying what is present, not worrying about the past or the future.

Have patience with yourself. Take action. Practice forgiveness. If you do your best always, transformation will happen as a matter of course.