Ramblings

I am joining forces with my neighbors this Saturday and doing what I thought I would never want to do again, which is, have a garage sale. I spent the past two days getting out everything I didn't want and tossing it in the garage, where tomorrow we will tag and set up everything.  I hope it's worth it! When I wasn't getting stuff ready for the sale, I was doing yard work.  The weather has cooled somewhat, which made the task much more tolerable.  Because I was doing a lot of bending over, my legs got a little sore, and I was feeling the stiffness in Zumba class tonight.  We did something different, in honor of Halloween, and we learned the dance to Michael Jackson's Thriller song.  It worked out good for me since I was feeling kind of stiff!  I don't believe I've ever done that dance before, and it was a lot of fun.  Everyone made pretty good zombies! lol  I am tired, but before I head to bed, I'll post this beautiful picture I took of the clouds...............  Goodnight!

                                              

The Four Agreements by Don Miguel Ruiz

Last year someone told me about this book, which describes the codes for life, according to Don Miguel Ruiz.   He describes these simple agreements for people seeking happiness, peace, freedom and love.  It's a good reminder for all of us who want to be the best person we can be to others and to ourselves, and live the best life we can. ~

Be Impeccable with Your Word

Speak with integrity. Say only what you mean. Avoid using the word to speak against yourself or to gossip about others. Use the power of your word in the direction of truth and love.

Impeccable means “without sin” and a sin is something you do or believe that goes against yourself. It means not speaking against yourself, to yourself or to others. It means not rejecting yourself. To be impeccable means to take responsibility for yourself, to not participate in “the blame game.”

Regarding the word, the rules of “action-reaction” apply. What you put out energetically will return to you. Proper use of the word creates proper use of energy, putting out love and gratitude perpetuates the same in the universe. The converse is also true.

Impeccability starts at home. Be impeccable with yourself and that will reflect in your life and your relationships with others. This agreement can help change thousands of other agreements, especially ones that create fear instead of love.

Don't Take Anything Personally

Nothing others do is because of you. What others say and do is a projection of their own dream. When you are immune to the opinions and actions of others, you won't be the victim of needless suffering.

We take things personally when we agree with what others have said. If we didn't agree, the things that others say would not affect us emotionally. If we did not care about what others think about us, their words or behavior could not affect us.

Even if someone yells at you, gossips about you, harms you or yours, it still is not about you! Their actions and words are based on what they believe in their personal dream.

Our personal “Book of Law” and belief system makes us feel safe. When people have beliefs that are different from our own, we get scared, defend ourselves, and impose our point of view on others. If someone gets angry with us it is because our belief system is challenging their belief system and they get scared. They need to defend their point of view. Why become angry, create conflict, and expend energy arguing when you are aware of this?

Don't Make Assumptions

Find the courage to ask questions and to express what you really want. Communicate with others as clearly as you can to avoid misunderstandings, sadness, and drama. With just this one agreement, you can completely transform your life.

When we make assumptions it is because we believe we know what others are thinking and feeling. We believe we know their point of view, their dream. We forget that our beliefs are just our point of view based on our belief system and personal experiences and have nothing to do with what others think and feel.

We make the assumption that everybody judges us, abuses us, victimizes us, and blames us the way we do ourselves. As a result we reject ourselves before others have the chance to reject us. When we think this way, it becomes difficult to be ourselves in the world.

Take action and be clear to others about what you want or do not want; do not gossip and make assumptions about things others tell you. Respect other points of view and avoid arguing just to be right. Respect yourself and be honest with yourself. Stop expecting the people around you to know what is in your head.

Always Do Your Best

Your best is going to change from moment to moment; it will be different when you are healthy as opposed to sick. Under any circumstance, simply do your best, and you will avoid self-judgment, self-abuse, and regret.

Doing your best means enjoying the action without expecting a reward. The pleasure comes from doing what you like in life and having fun, not from how much you get paid. Enjoy the path traveled and the destination will take care of itself.

Living in the moment and releasing the past helps us to do the best we can in the moment. It allows us to be fully alive right now, enjoying what is present, not worrying about the past or the future.

Have patience with yourself. Take action. Practice forgiveness. If you do your best always, transformation will happen as a matter of course.

"Comes the Dawn"

After awhile you learn the subtle difference between holding a hand and chaining a soul, and you learn that love doesn’t mean possession and company doesn’t mean security.  And you begin to learn that kisses aren’t contracts and presents aren’t promises, and you begin to accept your defeats with your head up and your eyes ahead... with the grace of an adult not the grief of a child.  And you learn to build your roads today because tomorrow’s ground is too uncertain for plans and futures have ways of falling down in mid-flight. After awhile you learn that even sunshine burns if you get too much, so you plant your own garden and decorate your own soul, instead of waiting for someone to bring you flowers. And you learn that you really can endure, that you really are strong, and you really do have worth, and you learn and you learn…with every goodbye you learn. - Virginia Shopstall
 

What Does Fall Smell Like?

Back home in Iowa everyone is looking forward to those fall days, when the air turns cool and crisp, and it's time to get out those fuzzy sweaters and favorite boots.  I remember!  It's always something to look forward to, especially after a particularly hot and humid summer.  It won't be long and the days will be getting shorter and the nights longer.  Trees and bushes will be turning vivid colors of red, orange, and yellow, and filling everyone's senses with the sights and smells of the season.  When the wind blows and the leaves rustle in the trees before falling to the ground, and when the leaves brush across the street and pile up in the lawns, those wonderful aromas of autumn fill the air.  What does it smell like?  How do you describe it?  To me it's almost like dried flowers, a burnt smell, rippened apples on the ground, wet dirt mixed with cold fresh air, I don't know...it's hard to describe.  I love the fall in the midwest. (Although raking semi-truck loads of leaves had a lot to be desired, I won't complain about that!)  I just don't like what comes AFTER that.  Well, I take that back.  The first snowfall is always exciting, and wearing my new boots and winter clothes is fun at first. Not having to mow the grass anymore is nice.  Of course, a white Christmas is what we all dream of, and then after that, I want to be some place warm.

And that brings me to my point.  I had had enough of the cold, dreary winters, of sliding on the icy roads, below zero temperatures, scraping an inch of ice off my windshield, brushing 16 inches of snow off my vehicle, always having salt from the street covering my car, shoveling snow,  shoveling snow again, gray skies, turning up the heat in the house and piling on the clothes and never being warm enough, feeling that bite in your face from the bitter cold wind, and freezing and shivering every time I went somewhere, that I decided I didn't want to live in that climate any longer.  So, I moved to the southwest, the desert, to be exact.  I have to admit, the main reason isn't because of the weather, although that had a big impact on my decision.  The main reason was to be closer to my grandchildren.  Having sunny blue skies and dry heat vs. humidity was a big bonus, too.  My hair is thanking me for it, as it looks so much better without the unruly curls and frizz caused by the humidity. 

Hard to believe, but I've been in Phoenix for almost a year and a half now!  That's two summers worth, two springs, and one winter.  I am looking forward to another winter here.  While everyone back home will be complaining of the bitter cold, I will be in glorious sunshine and warm weather.  I have to admit, it's been so hot and dry here this summer, where normally Phoenix gets some rain during the monsoon season from mid June to the end of August, we didn't see much at all.  This summer, instead of rain, we got dust storms.  The dust, or sand storms, are called haboobs.  A funny name but not a funny sight!  They say we had three, but I counted more than that.  Some of the valley area got lucky and got more rain than we did...and some areas got terrible wind and rain storms. We also had 32 days in a row with over 110 degree temperatures.  Yesterday it was 101 degrees, but today it's back up there in the 110 range again.  Yes, it gets hot here in the summer, but to me it is the lesser of two evils....if you want to think of it that way.  I'd rather have hot than cold, ANY day.  I love wearing flip flops and tank tops and never needing a sweater at night.  For the record, I do miss my hometown and the people in it, and I do miss the changing seasons, but I'm adjusting to life out here in the valley of the sun.  Fall in Phoenix doesn't have the aromas of back home, but that's what Yankee candles are for!   

Oh...Girl's Just Wanna Have Fun!

My granddaughters were over for a few hours today and one of their favorite things to do is pretend they are talking on the phone. Then we watched 5 episodes of Dora (in between, I caught some TV coverage of Hurricane Irene). We painted 'ningernails', did this little piggy 8 times...twice on each girl's toes, played ball, ring around the rosie, colored, played matching game, read a story, rough housed, tickled, counted, cleaned up spilled milk, washed crayon marks off the chair, wiped a runny nose, played with necklaces and tiaras and little people toys, and ate breakfast, twice, oh and we can't forget that poopy diaper! Nana's tired. But I wouldn't trade it for the world!

They are 3 and 1 1/2 years old.  It just amazes me how much kids at this age know, and how quickly they learn.  It is so fun talking to them and watching them.  I find myself smiling all the time.  Well, most of the time!

Back In Chicago Again!

I've been staying with my daughter in Chicago for the past week and driving to the suburbs every day (except Saturday) to go visit my mom. The drive takes anywhere from an hour to an hour and a half each way, but it's worth it to see my mom. And boy, is she happy to see me!  Almost as happy as I am to see her. It's been great being with my daughter, too. We've been doing the typical things we do when I am here...shop, work out, run along the lakeshore, and work out in the fitness room.  My daughter is really into fitness and I am too, but I usually slack off when I'm 'on vacation'.   My daughter still likes to take her mom out, so we went out for a cocktail one night. We almost didn't get anywhere though because all the cabs were being hogged by the Lollapalooza crowd. In a couple of days I'll be driving to the Quad Cities to visit more family and friends. I will be staying at my sister's house for 3 nights.  She and her husband are selling their house and it may be the last time I get to see it. 

This job is not for the weak stomach.  No, it's not Spiderman!  I don't know how these guys can be up so high, just dangling from a cable.  He was on the 13th floor here.

Here's my wonderful mom.

I could stand to see this view everyday on my jogs...well, except for the cold winter days.

Like our shirts?

My daughter works in the Unitrin building.  If you saw the Transformer III movie, you will recognize the building next to it.  One of the highlights of last year was when they blocked off the streets and filmed the movie. 

Of all the photos I've taken in Chicago, I don't think I've ever taken one from this vantage point. 

With my youngest daughter. 

Here I am with my mom and two of my sisters...

I see this view everyday when I drive back to the city from visiting my mom.  I took this picture because I liked how the sun was reflecting off the buildings.

The streets and sidewalks were filled with people for the Lollapalooza music festival. 

My Thoughts On Reading My Diaries Many Years Later

I recently went back in time and mentally relived a part of my past, beginning at the young age of 16.  I kept a diary back then.  It was my first diary, one of 8 to follow.  I continued to write in a new diary during different stages of my life from that point on.  Even then, I realized that this was something special, a way for me to preserve memories to reflect upon one day when I am much older, and to be able to someday share it with my kids and grandkids.  Upon reading these there were some entries that I would not want anyone to read.  In fact, I scribbled out a few things!  Just a few.  And some pages have been torn out previously.  I had these diaries in my hope chest and one by one I read every single page.  With each diary I saw how things changed, how I changed, the way I expressed myself as I grew from a teenager, to a wife, and to a mother.  I once again felt those feelings of happiness, fear, sadness, and excitement. There were deaths, births, illnesses, friends coming and going in my life, my kids growing up so fast (and those wonderful teenage years), and house building.  I even wrote down prices of things like food, gas, clothing, appliances, electronics, movies, etc.  Which by the way, some appliances and electronics cost more then than they do now. 

There were a few things that surprised me in my journaling.  One is, I could not believe how often I ate at fast food restaurants as a teenager.  I am certain it was because it was the affordable choice, it was convenient, and it tasted good.  Not to mention the fact that I was very skinny, very young, and without the slightest concern about my arteries and cholesterol, just so long as I wasn’t getting fat.  As the years went on my diet changed for the better.  Today I rarely eat fast food, and I try to eat the foods that are good for me.  I’m sure that is due in part to the fact that I am well aware of age creeping in, and I’m trying to do things that will ensure a longer life. 

My movie choices as a teenager had much to be desired, but I’m sure that’s what you get when you go to a drive-in theatre, if you know what I mean.  Another thing I hadn’t really realized, until reading my diaries, is just how much time I spent with my mom after I married at the age of 18.  (Which, by the way, being married at 18 explains why we are no longer married, even though we did love each other.  We grew up and grew apart, and after 3 wonderful children and 25 years together, we went our separate ways.)  I often went over to mom’s house, and we would go shopping, or out to lunch.  My sisters would either still be living there or would come over to mom’s house too, and we would all hang out and talk or do things together.  For years I would see my mom at least 3 times a week, and talk to her on the phone even more.  My sisters and I and our mom were really close and did so much together.  We celebrated everyone’s birthdays and every holiday together.  Mom and dad were divorced, and dad had his place in our lives, too.  He wasn’t around as much, but we loved him just the same.  Mom was always buying my kids toys, clothes and gifts.  She would take them shopping at the dollar store and she would have them over for sleepovers.  My sisters and I would take turns having each others kids overnight.  At one point we had our own little club and we would meet at each other’s houses on Thursdays and have a meal together and talk about anything and everything women talk about.  Mom and I even took college classes together, and I have some fond memories of that time, like the time we could not stop laughing in class because the teacher said something, not meant to be funny, but we thought it was hilarious.  We were both going to be nurses, and we both changed our minds.  But we had fun in that year we were together in school.  I went on through, to the second year without her, and graduated with an Associate’s Degree in Liberal Arts.  Mom was right there cheering me on. During this period in my life I was married with 3 small children and also babysitting a couple of kids on a full-time basis.  It was tough trying to find time to study, let alone raise a family and maintain a household.

My diary from the time I was living in Germany with my dad, and attending Frankfurt American High School, jarred my memory on a few things that I had forgotten about.  Like, the time it took our bus 2 1/2 hours to get to school because of the snow, and the time a bunch of my friends were at a sleepover at Ruth's house and I woke up to find my bra in the freezer, and one day a month after our arrival in Germany my sister and I mailed out 31 letters back to the states.  Little did I know at the age of 16 that my long lost friends from school would become my friends on Facebook many years later!  Obviously, times have changed since the 70's. And whoever would have thought I'd be blogging my stories on a computer.

Another thing that I realized from my entries was how my memories of my kids always being these angelic-like beings, who never fought with each other and never got on my nerves, was wrong.  They did fight with each other and they did get on my nerves.  It’s so funny how those memories fade over time and how you remember all the good stuff more.  One day when my two oldest were 3 and 1 1/2, they kept fighting over their toys and crying at the same time.  I threw my hands up in despair and said, “I don’t want anymore kids!”  And my 3 year old daughter said in a ha-ha tone to her voice, “I don’t want no more mommies either!”  And then she added, “And no more daddies, too!”  It made me realize something there.  Maybe I was getting on her nerves, too.  Of course, I was blessed to have another child a year and a half later. 

One of my diaries was all about the home building process of our log home two decades ago.  What a job that was, building a house with our own hands, and working full time, raising 3 kids who were all involved in sports, dance, and music, and trying to have a life outside of building a house. 

Having diaries is just a small part of the many things I have done over the years to preserve memories. I have also saved things.  I guess I learned this from my mom.  She saved elementary school papers and drawings I did, post cards from camp, and letters from Dad in Vietnam.  I continued the tradition and started my own collection and saved a lot of things of sentimental value to me.  For my kids, I saved everything from baby clothes to baby teeth, favorite t-shirts from camp, vacations, or school sports, toys, books, hair clippings from first haircuts, lists of their vocabulary at certain ages, growth charts, school papers and art projects, newspaper clippings from their sports (all put in scrapbooks), notes, and so on.  I didn’t save everything, of course.  At the end of each semester in school I would go through their school work and save my favorites, or their favorites, like stories they wrote, etc.  And I would put them in a separate folder and label it.  They each have a folder for every grade, even some college.  I saved their favorite toys and the blankets my mom made them.  So now, each of my three kids has about 16 plastic totes, with their childhood memories tucked safely inside.  I know they appreciate that I did this for them.  But I didn’t do it just for them.  I did it for their children, and for their grandchildren, and I did it for me.  It made me feel good.  I can’t explain it, but I guess it makes me feel like I kept their childhood alive.

I realize now and have always known that my kids are my greatest blessings in life. I know that I am not perfect.  I have made mistakes in my life, I didn’t always do things exactly right, I have wanted to go back and change some things, and I have missed out on opportunities that were presented to me.  Aside from that, I am who I am because of the woman my mom and dad raised me to be, and because of the family values that were instilled in me, and because of my life’s circumstances that lead me down the path I’ve taken.  I may not be someone who has accomplished great things, but I do believe I am a good mom.  Reading my diaries gave me a glimpse of my past and reminded me of all the things I did do right.     

 

What the Heck is a Haboob?

I sure never heard of a Haboob...until last night when I was sitting in my living room watching TV.  Suddenly a special alert came on the tube showing a large sandstorm had just entered the Gilbert/Chandler area.  I thought, oh no, we are right in it's path, and there's no way we are going to miss this.   It was HUGE!  It looked like a giant exploding vacuum sweeper bag!   Sure enough, within minutes it was here.  My daughter called and said, "Welcome to Phoenix!"  I'm used to thunderstorms, snowstorms and blizzards, from living in Iowa, not sandstorms.  I learned later that this was an exceptionally large sandstorm, called a Haboob, one that many valley residents have never seen the likes of.  It's more of a middle east type of storm.  This one was over a mile high and 100 miles long! It lasted about an hour, with sustained winds of 50 to 70 miles an hour, with a sprinkling of rain afterwards...just enough to put sand and mud spots on everything!  We are in monsoon season now and typically it means there can be rain and blowing dust.  Sometimes a lot of rain at once.  This is a Haboob... 

 My daughter took this picture from her second floor bedroom as the Haboob made it's way into her neighborhood.  It crawled over the mountain, which you can't even see here. I live only 7 blocks away, so I got hit virtually at the same time.  I wish I would have looked out the window to see it coming, but I certainly heard it once it arrived.  Boy, did I ever!  It sounded like a blizzard with sleet and ice coming down.

In this picture you can see the bottom of South Mountain.  I saw my neighbor driving in to their garage during the middle of the storm.  Unfortunately, they got caught in it.  So many cars today were covered in sand and dirt and the news reported that the car washes were crowded all day.  People's pools were full of sand, too.  However, my neighbor's pool looked pretty clean, considering.

This is what my windows looked like this morning.  And people who know me, know that I can't stand dirty windows!  The first thing I did when I got up was go outside and start cleaning up.  I even skipped my morning coffee!  It actually wasn't as bad as I thought it would be out there.  I hosed down everything, washed the windows, and raked the seeds that finally fell from my cypress tree, thanks to the wind.  Everything was back in order 4 hours later.  Oh, and my cypress tree is actually standing up straighter than it was before. hehe

 

 My daughter and her husband kept laughing at the pronunciation of Haboob, so.... I had to laugh when I saw this photo in my daughter's facebook album after she posted pictures of the Haboob.  I commented that this is 'a little boobie'.  Shame on me.  Oh well, she thought the comment was funny, and we needed some humor after the experience we just had.

While I was outside working today I saw that the house that is being built behind me is going to be a two story, not a single story like I was hoping.  Now, not only is my mountain view gone, but so is my privacy.  I've got to figure out what to do about this.  I need some fast growing, super tall trees and bushes.  Or a cheaper way to go would be to annoy them somehow so THEY are forced to spend the money on some privacy plants.  I'm such a clean, quiet person who isn't home much, so how can I annoy them?  I was here first!

For the Love of Art

                               I drew a picture of my mom yesterday.

I took art in high school and haven't painted a picture since then...until this one.

Reconnecting in Iowa

     

I recently went back to my hometown in Iowa to take care of some business.  While I was there I spent some time with my family.  Even my daughter-in-law and grandson were in town visiting her family, so one of my sisters joined me in having dinner with them one night.  Little Mason's hair has grown so much in the past month since I last saw him.  He's adorable!  The next day I drove up to St. Charles to visit my mom, and my daughter and her boyfriend met us there from Chicago.  It was a great day, and mom was so happy to see us! Below is a picture of my mom and Alisa.

Throughout my stay, it was also so great to see my sisters again, and to reconnect with them after all the heartache we've been dealing with regarding our mom and her illness.  I feel so good that for the most part, it went very well.  I feel like I have my sisters back again...with the exception of one, who appears not as eager as me to reconcile our differences.  I'm hoping in time she will.  I love all of my sisters very much.  The picture below is with Vicki.  Next time I will try to get pics of the rest of them. 
     

I really can't come back home without getting together with some of my friends! It was nice that I was able to spend one-on-one time with three of them...so, for three nights in a row I had a friend to share fun girl talk with over dinner.  A glass of wine always makes the conversation more interesting! 

Here's a picture of me and Michelle.